Free Glide

The Story

As a child growing up, one of the many life lessons instilled in me was to wash your hands before eating and after using the restroom. As a child I often played in the dirt and places where germs customarily manifested. Another lesson I learned growing up was when introduced to new acquaintances always shake their hands. It is said to be a polite thing to do, and demonstrates a sign of friendly reception.

I can’t remember the first time I shook someone’s hand, but as an adult I have learned the different handshakes I detest and those I most appreciate. It is frequently said that the handshake is a window into the personality. For example, on the phenomenal television show “Survivor” during the last episode the tribal council selects the winner of the contest. Before the vote, seven remaining tribal members were given an opportunity to ask a question or make a statement to the remaining first and second place contestants.

In the heat of anger one tribal member named Susan verbally lashed out at Kelly who had the deciding vote to cast her from the contest. Susan’s anger stemmed from an alliance that was broken as Rudy, Richard, and Kelly (the last three members) began to fend for themselves as the contest came to its season finale. But after the winner was chosen, the seven tribal members went to give their congratulatory hugs and handshakes. Of course Susan went over to shake hands with Kelly for placing second. While 40 million viewers watched, Kelly refused to shake Susan’s hand. So what’s in a handshake?

Dr. Wade Horn, President of the National Fatherhood Initiative said, “The handshake establishes contact; it sends a message. If I am having an important meeting the handshake will tell me if the meeting was successful.” Dr. Horn went on to explain further that, “If there is a firm, tight, and strong grip at the end of the meeting then the meeting was successful. If not, then that person is disappointed and not pleased with some aspect of the meeting.” He closed by saying “When someone shakes my hand and doesn’t let go then that’s too personal.”

But what does that say about billionaire and former presidential candidate Donald Trump? Mr. Trump, who does not like to shake hands, was met with some controversy when refusing to shake hands on the 2000 presidential campaign trail. The New Republic reported that Donald Trump is “A germ freak. Trump has said he doesn’t want to touch the diseased masses. His campaign hands out half-ounce bottles of hand-cleaner, with Trump’s web-site address taped to the necks.”

Evan Burfield, co-founder and Chief Strategy Officer for the Netdecide Corporation, said “It’s like driving on the highway. People do things that are so uncivilized, things that you they would never do in person. It’s the same way in a corporation; there’s a protective layer that a handshake removes for a second. It lets you understand that you are talking with another person who needs to be treated like a person with trust, respect, and forthrightness.”

Evan added that, “Today we are operating in a cross-gender environment. That man-to-man power struggle handshake doesn’t work with women. It’s a positive to have women involved with everything we do; it softens a lot of the male aggressive rituals.” And speaking of rituals, the handshake has origins more anthropological than historical. Because they carried knives, spears, and rocks, when land was scarce and sacred males would extend their hand to show that they were not attempting to kill their neighbor. To add to that, the classical Greeks were under the impression that the right hands were mysteriously connected to the heart.

The Greeks may not have been very far off point. The handshake is a symbol equivalent of a promise. It becomes a virtue of the word and value of the person extending it. It is an agreement sealed with honor before the lawyers get involved. The handshake is a very valuable tool and, since in business often the communication is one-to-one, it’s flexible and indicates that an agreement has been reached on current dealings. It says that all information and intentions have been disclosed so that the value of the handshake is not diminished. The lesson here is that the handshake historically has carried symbolic importance. It is good to know what your handshake is worth. It’s your word and it says you can deliver on your promises.

Kevin Robertson, president of Vision of Life consulting firm said it best”Today a man or woman is judged on their handshake, eye contact, and the display of confidence.” This is a far cry from the classical Greeks, or prehistoric man who when all they had to worry about being stabbed or hit with a rock. There were no lawyers and no contracts, just the bond of a man’s word.

The Lesson

What’s in a handshake? The handshake encompasses trust, honor, and communications, follow through and follow up, and represent good faith negotiations. After all, the word of a man and woman still lies in the bond that they will ultimately create.

Melvin E. Murphy is a Consummate Speaker, Noted Author & Certified Seminar Leader Mr. Murphy provides keynote speeches and seminars to educational institutions, civic groups, public associations, and corporations throughout the country. To contact him Email: mmurphy833@aol.com or to order his book It’s Who You Know! go to: partnershipsolutions.net

Networking, even to a seasoned professional, can seem intimidating or scary at times. The reason for this is due to the fact, that networking can be positive or negative! We don’t often think of “negative” networking. Not knowing what constitutes the difference between the two makes it easy to network in a negative manner.

I am sure that you will agree that the term “networking” is one of the most over-used and misunderstood words in our vocabulary. To give you an idea of how the term came to be misunderstood, lets first look at the dictionary definition. To paraphrase the dictionary, networking is defined as “the exchange of information or services among individuals, groups, or institutions.” What we don’t see included in the definition is the purpose of networking. We need to view networking in a much broader concept than the dictionary definition. If we view networking as the process of developing and maintaining quality relationships that are mutually beneficial, it won’t take long to realize that networking is an ongoing process. The continual building of relationships that can last a lifetime is what makes networking an ongoing process. When we lose touch with someone, then call on them when we are in need, we have just created a negative networking situation.

Positive networking needs to become a way of life. As the old saying goes “It’s not what you know but who you know.” This is true more than ever in today’s competitive world. Networking is not something that comes easily to many people. You may be basically a shy person, possibly feel you don’t have the resources, or as most of us are today, just plain busy. You may feel you just don’t have the time to network. The fact is that every time you meet someone new, you are given the opportunity to network, learn new things and enrich your life. Because we have broadened our definition of networking to include its purpose, we really don’t have time not to network.

Building relationships that will help you reach your potential is easier than you may think. Welcome new opportunities to meet new people. Don’t save your networking for specific situations or places. Networking can be done any place, any time. Learn about the other person you are networking with and how you can help them. Help others connect to the people you know can help them, keep your promises and stay in touch. These are all important aspects that are often overlooked when developing network relationships that are mutually beneficial.

Networking takes time and will be ever-evolving. You will always have opportunities to meet new people to add to your list of contacts. Once you have established a relationship, identify the people who can help you, stay connected, and keep your network growing. Identify the organizations and activities where people you want to know gather, get involved and become known.

To give an example of how this works, identify a group that you would like to join. Attend two meetings before joining. While at the meetings introduce yourself to two people and exchange business cards. Arrange two follow-up meetings for coffee or lunch. Now you will know if you truly want to be part of this group and you will have expanded your network by two.

Networking does not have to be difficult, in fact it can be fun. Keep in mind that it is something you will need to constantly work at and before you know it, you will have a strong network behind you to back your efforts

About The Author

Karen is a graduate of of Cleveland State University and is a freelance writer. Visit her website at http://www.womenatthesummit.com – A site of general interest to women. Topics include: Pregnancy, Children, Parenting, Health and wellness, Diet and Fitness, Relationships, Money, Travel and more.

(c)2004 Karen Zastudil

webmaster@womenatthesummit.com

Participating in message boards (forums) discussions is a great way of self promotion. It costs you nothing. Not even a penny. All you have to do is allot sometime for this type of promotion.

Before you getting started you need to know some must follow principles. You want your time to be profitable for you. Right? So what ever time you are gonna spend should bring you some profits.

What are those principles?

***1. Target your promotion:***

If you are search engine optimization expert, then you will be benefited by search engine forums. People coming to those forums need help in their web site optimization. If you are willing to share your knowledge with those people, you will gain their confidence and needless to say few customers too.

***2. Always follow the forum rules:***

In some forums or some areas of forums self promotion is not allowed. At the same time, some sub-forums are alloted to post your product advertisement. So read carefully before posting your product details anywhere on the forum.

***3. Use signature files:***

Almost all the forums allow signature files. These may be less than 4 lines or less than some 250 characters. This varies from forum to forum. So be concise with your wording.

Most IMPORATNT advice is always offer something free in your signature file. Free report on how to increase sales, free email course on how to design a web site that pulls orders or any topic that focuses on your web site theme. This always beats keeping your product price in your signature file. You can built your opt-in list too.

In signature files DON’T hide URL with ‘Click here’ as link text. Let people accustom to your web site name or your product name. If you just use as ‘Click here’ instead of ‘SEO tips and tricks’, it looks dull and less interesting.

***4. Change the heading while answering a question:***

If somebody ask a question like – ‘What are web site promotion methods?’.

In reply you can change the heading to what ever you want instead of ‘Re:What are web site promotion methods?’

You can keep an interesting heading to make your post prominent from others. Like ‘FOUR best methods to start with…’ or ‘Advertising with out spending a penny.’ etc. These type of headings certainly attracts people’s eyes.

***5. Give respect to others opinions:***

Don’t say harsh words even though you know what other person saying is wrong. Be polite. What you want to say tell it clearly and concisely.

If you don’t know a topic still you want to comment on that, add ‘in my opinion…, as far i know…’ etc. Point out to resources if you know any.

***6. Follow up the thread:***

If you start participating in a thread, then check the box that says ‘Email Notification’. When ever somebody replies your question, email will be sent to you. So you can post a reply or follow others answers and opinions.

What is the use of this? =You may end up with learning something from that discussion =It could be a topic for your next ezine article or ebook or a report =You can get to know of people of that thread

***7. Every day allot some time:***

Save the forum URLs in your favorites folder. Everyday try to visit them regularly. By this you can know the what is going on around you. You may know good resources and free information links that are useful to you. If you come across any information that is useful to you save them on your computer.

About The Author

Radhika Venkata – Subscribe to ‘EbookBiz Magazine’ which is completely focused on ebook business and Internet Marketing. Receive FREE Ebooks with Resale rights every month!

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I’ve been resisting writing about how to “work the room” because I personally don’t like to do it (interesting how that happens). Fortunately, I came to my senses and realized that I can answer the question easily, without having to actually do it myself!

So here’s the bottom line.

You need two things to successfully and efficiently “work the room”:

1. You must be clear about why you want to work the room.
2. You must be able to engage people in conversation.

Why is this important?

Well, your objective for wanting to work the room directly affects *what* you talk about with people as you go through the room.

Let’s think about this for a bit.

After you’re done working the room, what end result do you want to have?

• Do you want to scan the room for prospective clients/customers and walk away at the end of the event with a list of qualified leads?
• Do you want to do market research and leave the event with very specific information about how to proceed with your new project or venture?
• Are you looking for new business opportunities, such as strategic partnerships or speaking engagements, and want at least a couple of contacts to follow up with later?

Do you see how your end goal affects your topics of conversation with people?

This kind of clarity also allows you to have brief and focused conversations with many people — which is basically what working the room is all about.

Next, notice I said “engage in conversation”, not “make conversation”.

When I “make conversation”, I don’t really have any agenda for the conversation. There’s no specific outcome I want from the conversation. And the topics of conversation can be inconsequential.

However, when I “engage” someone in conversation, there’s real interest on my part, either in the other person or the topic of conversation or both. You probably know from your own experience, that the quality of such conversations is very different from the previous kind.

Of course, when you meet someone for the first time (as is the case when you’re working a room), you do start by making conversation and talking about “light” stuff.

However, if you’re focused about your purpose for working the room, you can quickly find opportunities or “openings” to transition to a more meaningful conversation. In other words, engage in a topic of conversation that is useful, interesting and relevant to both of you.

Whether or not you find an “opening” for a real conversation, you want to keep the conversation focused and brief, so you can move on to the next person.

End conversations with an agreement about the next step, if there’s one. Such as promising to call and schedule a time to talk in more detail later, or agreeing to email some information, or whatever. Or a simple greeting, if you couldn’t really engage or if there’s no need for a follow up.

When I work with clients privately on this topic, I often spend months with them on how to engage (and re-engage, if necessary!) people in “real” conversations, how to recognize and capitalize on openings and opportunities during conversations, how to skillfully direct the flow of conversations or conclude it with ease, and so on. It takes months because the focus is on applying, practicing and mastering the concepts in *real life*.

Still, I hope this brief article gives you some very specific things you can start doing right away to improve your success rate. Good luck!

(c) Copyright 2006, Srirupa Dasgupta

Sri Dasgupta helps business professionals get better results from their business networking efforts through focused and relevant conversations. She is the author of the Effortless Networking, and writes regular articles offering business networking tips and related resources.